Sunday, February 18, 2018

100 Word Stories

In the vein of writing exercises, I think 100-word stories are my favorite.

For those of you who don't know, or haven't surmised from their name, 100-word stories aim to tell a story or catch a moment in just one hundred words. I first learned to work on these in a beginning fiction writing class that I took, and after the few we did, I became obsessed. I spent 100 days where I wrote one 100-word story each day. And from it, I believe, my craft grew.

Here's why: 100-word stories force you to be concise—more concise than you've likely ever had to write before. In terms of writing, words are commerce, and to be able to use fewer of them to get across you're point, that's gold. Writing 100-word stories help you to learn to use every word to your greatest advantage. It teaches you to scrap what is bad, gratuitous, and even what is good, leaving in only the best to tell that which you want to convey.

Furthermore, it stretches your mind creatively. If you make a habit of writing these, no matter how frequently or infrequently, you'll have to open you creative well in a way that you haven't before. The more you write, the more new ideas you'll have to come up with of people, situations, and feelings that you want to show in the story. The fast-paced creation process of it is not only fun, but it helps rekindle your muse and your creativity in ways that working on a novel for long periods of time sometimes cannot.

In fact, if I ever find myself lacking ideas, or not writing anymore, I write 100-word stories. It throws me back into the thick of things, it gets me excited to write again, and they're quick. They lack commitment. They're much less daunting (albeit, editing these to be 100 words can be quite a task) and they're informative to your craft. It still feels productive, and you still get that creative rush after writing them, but because of their length, you're not pledging yourself to anything long and arduous.

And, the last reason I love them is because they can be anything. You can write them for any genre, for any person; the possibilities with them are limitless. You can experiment with ideas you've always had but never had the guts to commit to; you can dip your toe in genres you've always admired but never thought you could write; you could write the wildest, strangest tale you've dreamt up in just those 100 words. It's truly a beautiful thing to do.

Below are some of the stories I wrote over my 100 day challenge to myself.

Freedom
He walked cautiously, his eyes peeled and his heart pounding. The only sound in the streets besides the creaking of the winding trees were his footsteps against the damp and cracked sidewalk.
He wasn’t quite sure why, but he felt like he was waiting for someone, as if he was breaking rules. Like this couldn’t be allowed—like admonishment awaited him if he were caught.
The further he went, the more his mind wandered, getting lost in the rich landscape that lived inside of it, and slowly the stress uncurled itself from his chest.

Oh this freedom—it was a strange thing.

Unheard
Skidding. She was skidding out of control. The smell of rubber, heat rising in the front seat, and the screeching sounds of the tires on pavement.
And the fear that pounded in her chest. The fear that poisoned her body and shook her hands. She was turning the wheel like mad, trying to straighten her car out as the speedometer dropped too slowly.
The wall in front of her was fast approaching, a reminder of what awaited.
In her final moment, she moved her hands away from the wheel and looked up, breathing out her final, desperate words.

“I’m sorry.”

To Write
Her fingers sped across the keyboard in a frenzy.
She’d began with a promise—a promise to write down her thoughts. The thoughts that every day were so loud they were suffocating, demanding attention, squeezing out anything but those calamitous words that trammeled through her mind.
Yet as she wrote, her words turned to sentences, those sentences turning to paragraphs, those paragraphs transforming into pages. Slowly, the words, once so insignificant, became a breathing manifestation of her. Slowly, the stories she created breathed life back into a broken, scarred soul.
She paused, leaning back and smiling.

Yes—finally, her mind was silent.

Sharpen
The walls were chipping. I stood in the center of a mess, untouched from when I left it all those years ago.
Old clothes on one side, a dusty guitar laying in the corner, a stack of board games, the top one undisturbed from when I’d last played it. It all seemed fake.
Through the windows, golden shafts of sunlight filtered into the room, the colors reminding of the vibrancy that once was, juxtaposing the shell of a person I’d become. I sighed, the nugatory void I’d become now very apparent.

Oh, how the jaded world could change you.

Beautiful Anarchy
It was a spur of the moment decision.
It was a thing of beauty, and a thing of anarchy.
The engine revved, his hands sweating and his body buzzing at the adrenaline. More. He wanted more. The car moved faster, the lamp posts turning into exaggerated blurs as he sped across the vacant road. He’d never felt more alive.
And then he stopped. The world around him came back into focus. And he let out a breath.

What he’d done was reckless, mad even—but there was no denying it. With the unforbidden came an unparalleled thrill. And that—that was exhilarating.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

The Best Books of 2017

As the year comes to a close, I was reflecting on all the reading I've done, and decided to throw together a small list of what I think are the best books released in 2017 (NOTE: These are all opinions, and you in no way have to agree with any of them).

7. Windwitch by Susan Dennard

It feels like I read this ages ago, but Dennard really reached a new high with this novel. Every detail that she painstakingly laid in the first book of the series, "Truthwitch," came back to play a big part. Threads weaved together, she expanded her already sprawlingly epic world. It was a quick read, but it kept me on the edge of my seat. The whole. Damn. Time.

6. History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

A story of love and loss and the desperate searching of a grieving child, "History Is All You Left Me" will break your heart with every turn of the page. This novel is raw and real, with emotions so real they transcend the pages and work their way into your heart. And, of course, it has the beautiful LGBT representation Silvera delivers in his work—something that can feel so hard to come across at times. Overall, one of his best works.

5. Turtles All the Way Down by John Green

To say I was apprehensive about this story would be saying the least. I don't at all hate John Green, but his previous novels to me felt saturated and pseudo-profound. However, after a few years off, Green came back with a hit. "Turtles All the Way Down" is so important to me because it tells a beautiful story without trying to be beautiful: it simply is. It feels real, and Green incorporates OCD and anxiety into the main character's narrative without forcing it—something that is incredibly important for such a high-profile author such as himself. Beautiful and real, I found myself pleasantly shocked at "Turtles All the Way Down."

4. Tower of Dawn by Sarah J. Maas

Hands down one of the most important books of this year. Though I'm a Maas fan, I almost didn't even bother picking up this book. I was annoyed they added a whole novel in the middle of the Throne of Glass series, and I didn't care to see where their adventures would lead them. However, when I got around to reading this one, I was shocked. It was beautiful and adventurous and youthful. Maas brings the readers to the lands of Antica—never before seen in the previous novels—where her imagination ran free, bringing incredible new characters, places, and fights that were so authentic and varied I couldn't help but love it. However, further than just that, Maas was more aware than ever. She had a disabled main character who was treated with the utmost respect, care, and love. Furthermore, Maas includes a much more racially varied cast, and multiple sex scenes where consent is explicitly uttered. She not only created an incredible story, but also made her book more aware than ever before. Needless to say, this is my favorite book in the series to date.

3. They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

I know, I know, another Adam Silvera book. This one, however, I have higher on the list because this book hit closer to home for me than HIAYLM. Obviously we have no Death Cast in the real world, and obviously we have no social media that pairs people who are dying. However, the recklessness the characters experience and the beauty in their friendship (before anything romantic or lonely occurred) felt so real and so relatable I connected much more with the characters and the story. A heartbreaking end, Silvera executed this book perfectly.

2. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

This book was so important when it came out. Amidst constant police violence and racism that had boiled to the front of American media, Thomas released "The Hate U Give"—a socially conscious and beautifully real account of what life is like for any black families across the country. Thomas wrote with such passion and such realism I felt shocks of terror and had fits of virulence at just how unfair Starr was treated. This book was a masterpiece, and could not be more timely.

1. A Conjuring of Light by V.E. Schwab

I'm a Schwab fan through and through. I love every book she puts out, and truly believe she has a way with words and characters that is entirely unparalleled. In this epic conclusion to the Shades of Magic series—her most popular to date—I could not believe how smoothly and beautifully she pulled off the story. It was emotional, and dangerous, and a completely heart-pounding read, however Schwab brought her series to a conclusion in this best way possible. It's my favorite book in that series, and by far the best book I read this year.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Sorry

This is an apology. An apology to everyone I’ve done wrong and to everything that I’ve destroyed. I know I can’t resurrect anything from the ashes, but I can at least try to sweep them away.
I’m sorry for being a bad partner. When things got dark, and strange, and we were growing apart like two meandering paths, I should’ve held you tighter. I should’ve fought tooth and claw to get through the brush and merge our paths again. But I didn’t. I’m sorry I’ll always love you a little bit, even though you filled me with fury so cold it chipped away at my thin walls. I’m sorry I’ll always be blinded by that deadly mixture, so much so that even meeting your eyes hurts a little too much.
I’m sorry for being a bad friend. You might not even know it, but I am one. I spit bullets as casually as you do flowers. I shy away from you when you’re looking for someone to help. I let you flounder, cutting off the bridge before you can get to me. It’s selfish. Because I can’t handle your darkness and your light. And I know that means I don’t deserve you. There just comes a point where you’ve given so much of yourself that there isn’t anything left. I severed my legs and handed them to you. You tore of my arms without an apology. I cleaved my heart out of my chest and let it roll toward you, and even as I trembled and fell to the floor, you barely batted an eye. So I’m sorry I don’t have anything more to give you. I’m sorry I can’t tear myself into even smaller shreds to try to make room for you. And I’m sorry I’m saying all of this when I know it’s not your fault.
I’m sorry to my family, for all of the things that they did which I let go unnoticed. I’m sorry that when you came home beaming, I smothered your warmth and clapped out your happiness. I’m sorry I didn’t get you more gifts. I’m sorry I didn’t thank you as much as I should have. I’m sorry I took out the worst on you when you gave me the best. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate enough the silent solitude. I’m sorry I took for granted all the rides, the food, the gifts, the smiles.
I’m sorry to the passersby. I’m sorry if you ever waved, a smile on your face, and I was too caught in my head to notice. I’m sorry if you were passing me and felt disturbed at the darkness that dwelled there. I’m sorry if you overheard something and thought it was about you. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel less than you are. This world is already stressful enough on its own.
And, most of all, I’m sorry to myself. I’m sorry for disregarding myself. I’m sorry for letting anything get this far. I’m sorry I tore myself to shreds. I’m sorry I stripped away all emotion. I’m sorry I isolated myself, and did nothing to get better. I’m sorry I gave up so early on in the battle. I’m sorry I let myself get so scarred. I’m sorry parts of me couldn’t come out the other side. I’m sorry for not working to mend my broken bones, bandage my scars, and fill the hollow caves until now. I’m sorry it took me so long to own up to all of this; I’m sorry I waited to exorcise my demons and finally apologize. But I’ve done it.
I’ve said it all.
And maybe I can go forward unapologetic.
Maybe this will be the new start I’ve been searching for.

Maybe I had to let go and erase before I could begin to grasp other things and create.

Monday, September 11, 2017

Why "Tower of Dawn" by Sarah J. Maas Is So Important

*This post contains major spoilers for Tower of Dawn by Sarah J. Maas*

So I've just finished Tower of Dawn by Sarah J. Maas, and upon finishing it, I was struck by how utterly important this book is. From a disabled main character, to newfound diversity, to messages Sarah J. Maas has never given before, everything about this book was incredible. Maas found a new energy with this book, and wrote with emotional fervor I've never before seen from her.

To begin, I have to talk about Chaol's journey. I was incredibly worried going into this book about how his paralysis would be treated, and what the message would be. In the beginning, I almost stopped reading because I thought Maas' message would be that Chaol's wheelchair is a prison. And the damage that a message like that would have caused is incredible. But the further on we moved, and the amount of care Maas gave to Chaol's healing—the fact that almost his entire arc was him dealing emotionally with the past, as well as spending hours working out or with Yrene getting healed—was so incredible. And to end with him not being fully healed, with the message of Chaol being no less of a man in the chair than out of it. I had tears in my eyes. It is so important that a fantasy novel finally had a main character who was not only disabled, but not necessarily stunted by that.

It is also incredibly important that he had to go through the motions of getting over being ashamed of his injury, and dealing with the ramifications of being paralyzed for the rest of his life, to ultimately end on a positive note. Maas really hit the ball out of the park in that whole journey, and the fact that such a mainstream fantasy novel could feature that is absolutely incredible.

Next, the diversity in this book is so imperative to have out in culture. We all know there is a push for representation, and we have all read those books who seem to try to write every character so that they can market it as a diverse and refreshing read. But in exploring Antica and developing the continent, Maas wove in the diversity readers have been demanding—Asian-resembling characters and culture somewhat similar to certain Asian culture, as well as more dark-skinned characters—seamlessly. She didn't force it, or make too many overt descriptions of the color of someone's skin; she brought in all of these influences so beautifully and it gave so many new readers heroes of their same skin color and of a similar culture to look up to. Again, that is so absolutely important for everyone, and it's about time such a big series included that without pushing it or only including one character who wasn't white.

Another thing Maas did absolutely amazing in this book was give powerful messages of survival, fighting, and perseverance. Through Yrene Towers, Maas tells readers that you can overcome even the darkest and scariest of things; she proves that no matter what has happened to you, there is light at the end of very dark, very lonely tunnels.

While this might not seem particularly important, and while it might seem like a message she's given before, having dealt with raging mental illness myself, Yrene's character was incredibly touching. Maas went beyond saying "You could rattle the stars." She went into the depths of Yrene and Chaol's dark path, and wove the long, painful path to the light. Maas wrote so beautifully exactly what it feels like to have to battle a mental illness that you have no control of. She went beyond what she's every done before, and wrote a beautiful story of love and loss and fighting and hope.

In addition to all these incredibly important things, she wove an intricate plot with a wonderful payoff, some epic scenes, and HUGE information bits that cause ripples in what we've known about the series, such as Maeve being the Valg Queen, or the healers' powers against the Valg, thus their concentration in two places.

This book gave so many incredible messages, did so many important things, and is no doubt Maas' best work. This isn't even my review; it's just me gushing over how impressed I am with the strides taken in Tower of Dawn, and how deeply touched I was.

EDIT 9/13/17: So something I forgot to add in this that was SO important is Maas also wrote explicit consent in Chaol and Yrene's sex scene. He wouldn't act any further than kissing her until she said "Yes." I've yet to read that in a YA fantasy, and the importance of a mainstream novel having that is so huge!

Thursday, July 27, 2017

"Half Wild" | Book Review

****Will contain spoilers****
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I have to admit, going into Half Wild by Sally Green, I wasn't too enthusiastic about the book. I didn't dislike Half Bad, but I absolutely thought that there were things that could be improved. For example, I was infinitely more interested in Marcus than any of the other characters, so not seeing him except for the one scene made me crazy. It was like I was constantly waiting for a thinking about something that never happened.

That was, in my opinion, one of the reasons that Half Wild was so much better. Marcus' presence in this book, though not immediate, was a fantastic addition that livened up the plot, the character dynamic, and brought out the true colors in a lot of people, and I loved it. I loved the way people's alliances shifted, and the way that the Alliance began turning on Nathan in slight ways, just because he was being shaped by Marcus. And I loved the Marcus wasn't evil, but still wasn't painted as the good guy. I can't stand when authors write a character who has an evil reputation then turns out to be a softy. It's unrealistic; it's trite. That's why I was so glad that we did get some genuine, soft, loving moments between Marcus and Nathan, but we also saw that he wasn't the "good guy" by any means. He didn't show remorse for killing all the people that he did, and a lot of times he was entirely indifferent at the idea of how many lives he'd taken, and I needed that in a book.

Sometimes people aren't good people, and that's fine. It's refreshing to have a main character who has soft spots, but is overall the bad person they were made out to be.

I think the complexity of his character alone, and how his presence made absolute ripples in the plots and character developments is one of the main reasons that I found this book as good as I did. When I found myself asking questions about what it truly means to be a good person, and reflecting on conceit and on survival, I realized that was another reason I loved Marcus' presence in this book. He made me think. He wasn't one dimensional. He had a purpose larger than killing people, and that's important.

Now, all my gushing for how well Marcus was written aside, I generally liked all the characters better in this book than I did in the last one. Gabriel, who was always one of my favorites, didn't lose all the qualities that made me love him; his loyalty, his stupid jokes; his willingness to risk himself for others. These were all things that I really enjoyed, and I'm glad he kept them. I'm glad those qualities weren't entirely unwavering (as, in a war, they wouldn't be) but another thing I hate when authors do, is when they turn a character into a complete brick because of the circumstances, and that's not entirely realistic. I love that Green was able to keep him true to himself, while still developing as a person.

But, what really helped the characters in this book, were the new characters. Nesbitt and Van and Celia coming back were all hugely important for me enjoying the people we spent Half Wild with. In the last book, I found Rose boring, I found Mercury stereotypical, and Annalise got on my nerves like no one's business (more on Annalise later). So, when we had this new group of characters, who were more realistic, who were more enjoyable, I was pleased to find it really helped the experience.

Nathan and Nesbitt's banter was fantastic, and I loved how these new people helped not only the plot, but also Nathan develop.

Now, speaking of plot, I will say I was more impressed than the last book. In Half Bad, I felt like every time the plot built up to something, it happened as I expected, or it went as most books would. It wasn't a bad plot, it just wasn't incredible. In Half Wild, I still don't think it reached anything incredible, but I will say: I loved the development of the alliance, and I found Nathan killing Marcus genuinely surprising.

I feel like Marcus getting hit by that bullet seemed too easy, and Nathan has gotten hit by bullets and successfully and safely had them removed multiple times, so I do feel like him "already dying" was a bit of a cop out. BUT I truly didn't think that Nathan would kill his father, and NEVER did I think he would eat his heart.

That was the main point where I was honestly shocked at where the plot went, and also deeply saddened at Marcus' death.

The reason I only say the plot was better, is I still didn't feel like there were enough moments like this, but that one really stood out and made the book feel incredibly worthwhile.

In terms of style, I still think that Half Wild could have been a bit better. The prose was more enjoyable and less robotic at times than Half Bad, but I still wish Green would take more chances with her descriptions and her stage directions and her syntax. She's a good writer, but she hasn't shown anything great. She does a lot of telling, and she uses average descriptions to create her scenes and her stories. One of the only exceptions to this was the scene where Gabriel and Nathan went into that trance. That scene felt so raw, and so real, and I appreciated the prose she gave there.

But, unfortunately, it's wasn't as persistent as I hoped. That is the main thing that I'm hoping she can improve upon in the final book in the trilogy.

Lastly, I want to talk about Annalise. This is the one part of the book I cannot stand whatsoever. My problem with Green's prose aside, Annalise is the reason I would give this book a 4 or 3.5 out of 5 stars. Annalise is one of my least favorite characters I've ever read. She doesn't fit in with anyone in the book, all she does is create problems, she doesn't seem to have any greater purpose other than to serve as a love interest, and I don't buy her and Nathan's relationship for one second.

It doesn't make any sense. There is no reason for her and Nathan to be close or in love. They barely know anything about each other, and all Nathan dreams of is "holding her in his arms." Every time she walks on the page, I roll my eyes. Their relationship seems fabricated and forced, yet Green really wants us to believe that Nathan has nothing with Gabriel and truly loves Annalise. There's not one moment in this book—not when they have sex, not when Nathan rescues her, not when they have a conversation, and not when he fought so hard to keep Annalise from believing he's "bad"—when I truly believed that their relationship was real and that there was anything between them.

Once Annalise started protecting her brother and she shot Marcus, I was beyond glad that she was gone and Nathan finally hated her. My favorite part of the book was the ending, when he wanted to hunt her down, because honestly, if she was in these books for one more page I think I would have lost it.

Overall, Half Wild was more impressive to me than Half Bad, but still has a ways to go with prose, and I just couldn't stand Annalise.

This puts my ratings at:
Characters: 90%
Plot: 87%
Depth: 90%
Style: 70%
Intrigue: 93%
Overall Rating: 86%

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

The Importance of Setting

This is a writing post I've been excited to write for a while. As I'm sure you can tell from the title, this will talk about the importance of setting to a story.

Now, setting is one of those things that I think makes or breaks a story. Everything about your story is grounded in setting; the place where your story is happening will be integral to how it plays out.

If it's happening in a remote town high up in the mountains, what your protagonist will think to do, and the various resources available to them will be incredibly different from how your protagonist would act if it was taking place in a bustling city.

If you're writing a fight scene in the middle of a forest, the destruction would be mostly to the environment, and your characters would likely fight more recklessly because no one other than themselves would get hurt. But, if it were on a city street, there would be prying eyes and the possibility of others getting hurt, so the character's may be more careful, and in both cases the fight will play out drastically different.

Get the idea?

Now, to break this down in the simplest terms, I'm going to split setting and how it helps a story into three categories: Place, time, and mood.

Place
This is going to be the most straightforward out of the three. This is the conventional and obvious purpose of setting in a story—it establishes place. It makes quite clear where your story is happening, and gives a foundation for the rest of the novel to play out. The "place" part of setting is the specific and definite location of a story.

This can be on both small and large levels—anything from a city, to a small town, to a mountain, to a specific country, to a specific school, or a spot in a park.

Now, as simple as it seems, there are often components of this that you'll have to be careful of. For example, weather. In picking a place, weather is a key part of this. If it's somewhere real, you'll want to make sure the weather presented is accurate. If your place is fictional, then you'll want to establish clear weather patterns, both for yourself and the reader, as this creates a sense of realism, and gives you a chance to incorporate the setting further into a story (if it's storming, then that is one more thing the character will have to deal with).

This leads me to my next point in implementing the place aspect of setting; it has to feel real. If your setting does not feel real, or include enough details that are familiar to the modern reader, they will likely feel lost or distant from your world. This almost always turns readers off, so you must be quite careful in determining the defining details of the setting.

In addition, if you're not intimately familiar with the place that you're writing about, and it is a real place, changing the name of it in case you are inaccurate is likely a good decision, because it will stop readers who are intimately familiar with that place from comparing, judging, or stopping your novel because of those inaccuracies.

Time
Time is also fairly straightforward in and of itself, though not always directly grouped in setting. Essentially, the time that your story takes place in provides a backdrop to the story.

Just like place, time includes the era or century your story is taking place in (again, if you're writing fantasy with a different way of measuring time, that should be established very clearly), AND it includes the season, day, or week.

You shouldn't be giving time explicitly unless there is reason to (if it's epistolary, dates on journal entries or newspaper articles are perfectly valid, or if there's a date included in an event title (War of 1812)). Instead, time should be established through little details that keep the reader oriented. This is through things such as weather, the sun's position in the sky, architecture, technology, etc.

Time likely won't feel immediately important to the story, but it will help with realism, and also add a layer to the story that would have otherwise been missing.

Mood
Mood in terms of setting is likely the only one of these that maybe isn't perfectly intuitive. Setting really should be an aid in creating mood to the story, and this is a use of setting that will make your writing feel not only layered, but also feel advanced.

Establishing mood through setting is something that will enhance the emotional landscape of the piece, and is often conveyed strongest through changes in setting. If the weather goes from sunny to rainy, this is a classic example of changing the mood of the story through setting. Every detail of the setting will contribute to the mood, and if done right, should be coherent and beneficial.

While mood can be conveyed from changes in setting—and this works great on a large scale for the large events and large shifts in your story—you can't have an ever-changing setting to fit the mood you want in that scene. So in addition to changes, you can also create mood in the diction used to describe the setting. If a sunny day is described in a bland or dull way, it will show that the character is feeling fazed and out of it.

In conjunction with diction, if you juxtapose your character or set your character against your setting, that will also create mood very well through the use of setting. If it's frigid outside, and you make your character either have to fight against that frigidness, or if you compare their emotions to the frigidness, that will create mood.

For mood in particular, the best way to learn to establish it through setting is to practice. There isn't a trick, or a certain word that you can use to do it, but the more you begin to do it, the better it will get, and the more it will help your story.

Now, there are many other benefits of setting, and tons of other cool ways to use setting in your story, but now that you understand the main three ways (in my opinion) that setting should be used, I want to talk about picking a setting.

The best way that I think you can decide on a setting if it didn't come to you in your original story idea, is to map out the plot and the characters, and then think about where your characters are best fit to live, and where your plot is best fit to play out. It will most of the time be multiple places, but if you can pin down a few places that are perfect in aiding to play out your plot or develop your characters, that is how you should do it. A really good way of finding those places that work is simply scrolling through pictures of around the world, and seeing if one really speaks to your story.

Like I said, many times the setting just comes with the story idea, and if it did, then you can go right ahead and work on implementing setting into the story, but if you didn't have a setting decided on, I'd recommend waiting until after you've got the bones of your story and putting a setting that is complementary to (or, if you want your setting to function almost as an antagonist in the story, contrary to) those things.

I figured I'd end this one with 20 pictures that always inspire me for different kinds of settings, because for me, finding a setting is always best done with pictures.

So...























Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Child of Chaos

I am a child of blood
Of bloody hands
Of bloody skies

I walk through streets that flow with it
A golden metropolis undergirded by the red goo.

The skyscrapers are a gild;
the lights a facade

Even the sun
is fake.
Fabricated

This is a place of darkness
A place so cold
it could freeze the warmest hearts

I am child to avarice
To gluttony
To falsity

I was raised on a concoction
But nothing so glamorous is real
Nothing premeditated
stays.

There’s a moment where it
Hits
An ember sparked to an
Explosion
Collision
Understanding
Of this sanguinary history

It leaves a bitter taste in the mouth
To think of what created me
and where I’m trapped

I am a child of tyranny
I am a child of deceit;
of smoke and mirrors

I am a child of chaos.